the · smile · just · melted · off · your · face · and · stained · your · shirt

life with vinnie caruana in it once every few weeks makes me feel normal.
his solo gig in RI was a drunken mess w/cailin and perfect and his shirts are sexy kinda like him.
went to visit him and mikey at mason dixon before and after the CZ show in NYC
cutest bar ever. vin's a huge enabler so kept handing me booze and charging me nothing<3. APPRECIATE IT HOMIE.
uhhhhh, the cz show was nasty awesome, i wish i had a clearer memory though. i found skully at the bar and that made my whole night 1000000 times better he was such a surprise. dancing and humping and random things.
got lost for a sec in nyc, cabbie helped me out. i should be more careful but it's fine. more vin to come in about a week in brooklyn i think im not sure but i like it. then he's touring with HTL and sparks maybe? so i'll be at a few of those in november. love life.
roger TAP's last gig was funfunfun and a bit sad but i was having too much fun to be that sad.
ilovejim and it's sort of a problem. it sort of hurts.
but i wish..... it was..... not a problem and it could happen and that girlfriends didnt exist and that the only guys i want/want me didnt have gfs already coughcoughcoughcoughcoughEVERYONE. cries.

ok good rantwhinevent im going to sleep cobra tomorrow.

so i've been realizing that this summer has basically been killing.
aside from sucking at school and stressing too much over it, i've been having the mfing time of my life.
shows and hangs and travels and fun.

next weekend is va with dad and vickie, then nyc to hang with vin and watch him play some musics.
camping the weekend after.
a week of not much, andrew detorres and erick bowley and fred. gotta make sure sister is coming to that.
cubic zirconia headline in nyc, hopefully more of the cc crew will be there to party hearty.

i feel sorta sick i can't decide if i want a cig or a vom sesh.
there is a spider INSIDE My computer right now. between the screen and the casing.
i can see him crawling around.
i don't know if i can do anything abou this it makes me want to cry.

fuuuuuuuuuuuck.

"yeah i mean...18-22
you don't know shit
or what you really want
just ideas of what sounds good
and not knowing makes life interesting
because then you can surprise yourself"

someone random that doesn't need to be named said this to me.
i liked it, because i'm terrified about not knowing what i want my life to turn into.
and instead of being scared shitless about what's going to happen, looking at it as a surprise makes things way more fun.

SO i wish i had patience and time to blablabla about my ridiculous weekend, but i think im just gonna note a few things and pretend im going to write more later.

dp is .... out of his fucking mind and i love him to death.
nj sucks balls and agree with kel that it should be ripped out of the us and sent out to sea.
cc dance parties at the tribeca = mess and a half. in a goodbad way.
i met too many people i dont remember and wish i remembered.
i met a lot of people that i do remember and i'm glad about it.
i also wish i had memory of tbs playing, but that's whatever.
i love running into iata guys when i'm hoping for it but not expecting it.
i hate 12 dollar drinks, but not when they are so strong that i only really need one and then get 3 instead.
i love nick and tiombe and todd and CZ and love them for saving my ass.
and making ridiculous witty quips. and singing tracy chapman. and rapping.
and talking about big dicks. and drawing big dicks. and. orgies. and. shit. :( <3

OK THIS DESERVES ITS ON FUCKING POST. or. universe dedicated to itself:
head automatica's new music is beyond perfect.
i dont even know what's going on or how to handle it.
it. really. is. absolutely. perfect. and makes me feel things music has not made me feel in a while.
and i am pretty sure fuck every other band that ever existed HA are my life.
and i'm scared for the new gj because if it's as good as it probably will be i'm not sure if i am going to have the capacity to understand.

hmm.
my sepia toned face on twitter might be getting an update when i get my new glasses. there are a few people i will have to warn about that.

i guess that's all i have to go catch up on forty years of homework that i put off because i was partying too hard for life and having a blast. people should stop telling me "you only live once" its dangerous for my career. (aka don't ever stop because i love being irresponsible and having the time of my life because it's true. i will only live once. and cz and i are not afraid.)

edit: skanking in great scott w dp = WE ARE BOTH HUGE MESSES.

daryl palumbo and i might be married and i'm not sure what the fuck life is.
i just know he "looks at (my) sepia toned face like 6 times a day" and that "we're homies" and that..... i'm going o fucking kill him. i don't even know. what is going on. at all. we. are. bff. and. that. is. the. end. of. the. story.

katie is anne hathaway and leanna grew up on a farm. and. daryl is a huge pimp.
and i'm pretty sure everyone involved is fine with it because he's perfect and he could SO GET IT in like.... not even a second.

SHEEEEIIIIIIIIIIT.

ps cubic zirconia KILLLLLLLL and the new head auto shit is going to be more perfect than anyone could have ever imagined and i think i had sex like 42 times tonight. oh and i know that ska kid that was hanging with daryl since i was itty bitty like... 11 years old. WHAT IS LIFE. tell daryl to be in it always. <3333333333333

i decided to try to find the earliest postings i wrote about iata. apparently i didnt have LJ way back when. but i did find this and loled at how it fits my life right now, as well as it did on 12/21/07:

A Series of Letters;

Dear gabe.
i'm ready for it.

dear vin,ratt,kellen,mike,brandon.
i miss it wicked.

dear nick.
hit me on my beeper.

dear daryl.
there aren't words for you, son.

dear cody.
miss your hugs.

dear nick.
miss you being shy as fuck, and then never shutting up once we get you started.

dear stu.
miss your red sox cap.
and crazy jumping maneuvers.

i motherfucking miss daggermouth and i motherfucking love iata more than anything else in my whole life. i miss being with them every few weeks. life is really not normal without them.

head auto at great scott with old pals making new interesting music will be bomb.

and...... i'm very excited to see gabe at the end of august in the tiniest club known to man. and my sister very seriously needs to meet him finally. and the world then needs to end.

lies. the world can't end until i see tguk a buncha times. PANT SHITTING.

also, THIS POST: http://amyxjane.livejournal.com/15111.html

ratt is my new dad.

also, goodbye.

I MOTHERFUCKING MET NO DOUBT?!

jesus.

hi i should be doing homework but i'd rather come here and ramble about i just drank 3 cups of coffee and i haven't had any caffeine in me since that night kel and i were fucked on nodoz.

i have no concept of when that was because i don't have a timeline in my head.

i have to wake up in approx 5 hours and that sucks cuz i don't think im going to sleep soon.

i have to do some production processes shit and my menu is not even close to being halfway decent.
ok that's a lie it's decent.
but not anywhere near DONE.
but whatever.
done enough for a rough?

UHHHHHHHH
i'm broken. bye.

also. i miss charlie brand and rick and. algernon. and all them. sniffle.

after a drunk awesome night.
i rack my brain trying to remember funny things for the next few days.
it's shitty not remembering things?

and i hate how fast memories i do actually have fade.

i think i remember bragging about being born on groundhog's day.
and i def didn't stop talking about the master cleanse. charlie's done it, so he knew exactly wtf i was talking about.
i remember eating pizza i dont remember if it was good or not.
meeting kevin devine was funny because i didn't know it was him until the words "hi, i'm kevin" came out of his mouth. even though i know exactly who he is and was just preoccupied with not falling over.

algernon is the best name ever and i'm totally jealous.
everyone's faces got drawn on and it was hilarious.
algernon got a teardrop cuz he's obviously wicked badass. (...sorta?)
a bunch of us just got cat whiskers as can be seen in my previous post.
we definitely went to the pizza place like this and got made fun of by the guy @ the counter.
and i definitely got into a cab with whiskers on my face and absolutely forgot until i got home.

ok so juli is here so im going to stop. and watch queer as folk.
and not do h/w ? :/

charlie's friend was measuring everything, cigarettes and glasses. and everything.

god i have never been out till 4am with random people ever before in my life.

i have no idea whats going on other than the fact that i can't really feel my fingers.
and the fact that i love miniature tigers and charlie fucking brand and kevin devine is a sweetheart and i like gazing at the moon with him.

and i have cat whiskers on my face, don't worry about it??

i want to die and quit school and quit life.

i have put off my homework for nearly 2 weeks by now i think.
i have today and tomorrow to get it done.
why do i do this to myself.
i'm not going to get anything done today.
i'll probably go back to sleep.

im tired of everything.
bye.

ps i'm doing the master cleanse and it's nuts.

michigan is weird.
and smoking inside is terrible for my habits.

kelly and i are 14 year olds.

driving 15 hours straight is nasty, but manageable. here we come 20 hour drive, we'll kick your ass.

construction can suck mad kroger dick. insert robert smithian noise. we're in heaven.

...isthisladygaga?

whateverthefuck minty booze i drank blew my mind i need it now now now and forever.

i also need about 23094820394 hours of sleep pronto.